Life is evil; I’ve learned that over the years. There was a time when I saw the good in everyone and I expected them, like me, to be more inclined to show this good side when given the chance. I was wrong, people DO have a good side but at the same time, that good side will usually get clouded over by other people who’ve had their good side clouded out. Some people just don’t change and no matter how many chances you give them to come out of their dark, sad holes, they’d rather just stay locked up in their sadness and use people to make themselves feel better. It’s just how some people are. Other times, it’s not about your good being clouded over, it’s about being born with a certain amount of character or being raised to believe that you have to do something this certain way and anything else would be failure. If none of this makes sense, please disregard it, I’m not here to bring anyone down, I’m just here to show that world( and myself) that I’ve learned a lesson that I should’ve learned YEARS ago.
I learned that you can’t please everyone. People will inherently look for your flaws, no matter who you are or what you’ve done. Whether your a good person, or a bad one. I would consider myself a relativity level headed person with a more calm personality than others BUT in my past 21 years, I’ve learned that expecting others to treat you well because you treat them well is a naive way of thinking. I’ve garnered this title of being some timid, quiet, pacifistic person for so long and I realized that this kind of disposition makes people come to lose their respect for you. I never usually realize it until it happens and when it happens, people just assume that I’m this defenseless guy who needs others to stand up for him. I hate that. I hate this idea of people who think they need to help me or need to give me some kind of boost because I’m lacking or because I’m not strong enough. When people start to think that you need their help or their advise, they begin to think that they can control your life or that they can somehow begin to have a say in what you do or think. This is unacceptable and I won’t tolerate it anymore. The lesson that I’ve been learning is that it’s time for me to take the reigns. It’s time for me to stand up and say, “No, I don’t need your help, I can do this myself.” It’s time for me to look to those who see me as some helpless deer and tell them to “get your own life, this one is already taken”
I’m not be seen as a weaker person. I’m learning that this is a part of life and before I can really take a step into adulthood, I need stand up for me and not rely on others to do it.
Excuse me for getting really personal there but as a more artistically inclined person, I need to get out my thoughts either through music or writing. Thanks for reading, if you did.
*typed to the tune of “Vagabond” by Wolfmother